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And they face a daily struggle with social stigma, with family despair, and with religious fire and brimstone. Now, it's not as if it's all rosy in the marital bed either. Couples who are looking for greater happiness, greater sexual happiness in their married lives, but are at a loss of how to achieve it, especially wives, who are afraid of being seen as bad women if they show some spark in the bedroom. And then there are those whose marriages are actually a veil for prostitution.
They have been sold by their families, often to wealthy Arab tourists. This is just one face of a booming sex trade across the Arab region. Now raise your hand if any of this is sounding familiar to you, from your part of the world. It's not as if the Arab world has a monopoly on sexual hangups.
And although we don't yet have an Arab Kinsey Report to tell us exactly what's happening inside bedrooms across the Arab region, It's pretty clear that something is not right. Double standards for men and women, sex as a source of shame, family control limiting individual choices, and a vast gulf between appearance and reality: what people are doing and what they're willing to admit to, and a general reluctance to move beyond private whispers to a serious and sustained public discussion.
As one doctor in Cairo summed it up for me, "Here, sex is the opposite of sport. Football, everybody talks about it, but hardly anyone plays. But sex, everybody is doing it, but nobody wants to talk about it. SEF: I want to give you a piece of advice, which if you follow it, will make you happy in life. When your husband reaches out to you, when he seizes a part of your body, sigh deeply and look at him lustily.
When he penetrates you with his penis, try to talk flirtatiously and move yourself in harmony with him. Hot stuff! But in fact, they come from a 10th-century Arabic book called "The Encyclopedia of Pleasure," which covers sex from aphrodisiacs to zoophilia, and everything in between. The Encyclopedia is just one in a long line of Arabic erotica, much of it written by religious scholars. Going right back to the Prophet Muhammad, there is a rich tradition in Islam of talking frankly about sex: not just its problems, but also its pleasures, and not just for men, but also for women.
A thousand years ago, we used to have whole dictionaries of sex in Arabic. Words to cover every conceivable sexual feature, position and preference, a body of language that was rich enough to make up the body of the woman you see on this page.
Today, this history is largely unknown in the Arab region. Even by educated people, who often feel more comfortable talking about sex in a foreign language than they do in their own tongue. Today's sexual landscape looks a lot like Europe and America on the brink of the sexual revolution.
But while the West has opened on sex, what we found is that Arab societies appear to have been moving in the opposite direction. In Egypt and many of its neighbors, this closing down is part of a wider closing in political, social and cultural thought. And it is the product of a complex historical process, one which has gained ground with the rise of Islamic conservatism since the late s.
In the Arab region, they brand these attempts as a Western conspiracy to undermine traditional Arab and Islamic values.
But what's really at stake here is one of their most powerful tools of control: sex wrapped up in religion. But history shows us that even as recently as our fathers' and grandfathers' day, there have been times of greater pragmatism, and tolerance, and a willingness to consider other interpretations: be it abortion, or masturbation, or even the incendiary topic of homosexuality.
It is not black and white, as conservatives would have us believe. In these, as in so many other matters, Islam offers us at least 50 shades of gray.
Over my travels, I've met men and women across the Arab region who've been exploring that spectrum — sexologists who are trying to help couples find greater happiness in their marriages, innovators who are managing to get sexuality education into schools, small groups of men and women, lesbian, gay, transgendered, transsexual, who are reaching out to their peers with online initiatives and real-world support.
Women, and increasingly men, who are starting to speak out and push back against sexual violence on the streets and in the home.
Groups that are trying to help sex workers protect themselves against HIV and other occupational hazards, and NGOs that are helping unwed mothers like Faiza find a place in society, and critically, stay with their kids. Now these efforts are small, they're often underfunded, and they face formidable opposition. But I am optimistic that, in the long run, times are changing, and they and their ideas will gain ground.
Social change doesn't happen in the Arab region through dramatic confrontation, beating or indeed baring of breasts, but rather through negotiation. What we're talking here is not about a sexual revolution, but a sexual evolution, learning from other parts of the world, adapting to local conditions, forging our own path, not following one blazed by another.
That path, I hope, will one day lead us to the right to control our own bodies, and to access the information and services we need to lead satisfying and safe sexual lives.
The right to express our ideas freely, to marry whom we choose, to choose our own partners, to be sexually active or not, to decide whether to have children and when, all this without violence or force or discrimination. Now we are very far from this across the Arab region, and so much needs to change: law, education, media, the economy, the list goes on and on, and it is the work of a generation, at least.
But it begins with a journey that I myself have made, asking hard questions of received wisdoms in sexual life. And it is a journey which has only served to strengthen my faith, and my appreciation of local histories and cultures by showing me possibilities where I once only saw absolutes. Now given the turmoil in many countries in the Arab region, talking about sex, challenging the taboos, seeking alternatives might sound like something of a luxury. But at this critical moment in history, if we do not anchor freedom and justice, dignity and equality, privacy and autonomy in our personal lives, in our sexual lives, we will find it very hard to achieve in public life.
The political and the sexual are intimate bedfellows, and that is true for us all. You have JavaScript disabled. Menu Main menu. Watch TED Talks. Pingback: سکس با حجاب کلیپ عربی و ایرانی وعربیو افغانی و پاکستانی طالبلنی. Pingback: سکس ایرانی نوجوان پستون یا پستان سفت دختر نوجوان عکس کوس و کون Irani. Pingback: سکس پورن استار روس بخاطر سوئیچ ماشین. Pingback: سکس ضربدری حشری باش راحت باش برای ورود به دنیای سکس فارسی.
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